What would
we be without relationships? The Free Dictionary defines relationships as the
way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the
state of being connected. Not only are we connected as humans, but we are also connected
to our technologies, our possessions, and our beliefs. How we are connected
defines the type of relationship. For example, some may say that today’s youth have
an obsessive relationship with their cell phones. There may be strained
relationships amongst family members. We have casual relationships with acquaintances.
Some people have a healthy relationship with their pets (for those who spend
time and exercise with them regularly). Regardless of the type of relationship,
we all engage in them.
Because any
type of human involved relationship (i.e., human to human, human to object)
takes time, and time is limited, we have to prioritize which relationships are
most important. I’ve had to re-evaluate my relationships in the not too distant
past. I allowed my relationship with my job take priority over my family
relationships. I found myself being encompassed with what had to be done, who
needed help, and how was I going to get it all done. I allowed the job to occupy
my time and mind when I should have been focused on building my family
relationships. It seemed I could never
keep up, get ahead, or improve in my career. The more time I put into it, the
further I found myself from my family. I finally realized that being there for
my husband and kids physically was not really “being” there. Fortunately no
tragedies have occurred before I was able to reorder my priorities to put my
relationships back where they belong. [A few weeks ago there was a school van
accident near us where the coach and a student died. The other players in the
van were seriously injured. I see this as a major incident that would cause me
to reorder my priorities, and one that I would prefer not happen for me to
realize they needed changing.]
 |
| My Grandma and Aunt at hospital |
Just two
weeks ago another event caused me to look at my relationship priorities again.
My spry 80 year old grandma had surgery on a cancerous tumor in her brain. She
came through the surgery with flying colors and is going through rehab to
retrain her brain. She is a remarkable woman. She golfs on two leagues in the summer
and bowls on two leagues in the winter. Her positive attitude is refreshing to
see. Our relationship is very close, yet I don’t take the time to visit her often
as she lives eight hours away. We talk every Saturday, but I seem to find
excuses for not driving there. It’s very easy to make excuses when you have a
husband, kids, dog, job, etc. Traveling or even driving for me is not an excuse
as I love to do it. I just haven’t made it a priority to schedule time to drive
down to see her. Her prognosis for surviving the cancer is not long, and I am
going to make it down there as often as I can. Unfortunately, it took this
disease to make me reorder my priorities.
Why is it
that major events have to happen in our lives to get our attention and get us to
look at our relationships with others? Whether it be a disease, an accident, an
affair, or financial disaster, these events stop us in our tracks and force us
to reflect on the relationship. The closer a relationship, the more the event affects
us. While these recent events in my life have not been easy and caused me to
see faults in myself, I wouldn’t trade the relationships for anything. I would
much prefer to journey through life with others than try to face it alone.
