Five destinations. Ten days. Twenty-five hundred miles. And
we are still talking to one another.
While our high school junior spent Spring Break on a school
trip in the Netherlands and our oldest is away at college, my husband and I decided
to practice being empty nesters by taking an extended vacation alone. Alone
meaning together…in the car…for 10 days. Did I mention 2,500 miles? It wasn’t
actually 10 days in the car, more like six travel days of four to nine hours with
some local driving at our destinations. And it wasn’t quite alone all the time.
Four of the five destinations were spent reconnecting with family and friends.
At our first stop in St. Louis, MO, we had dinner with
friends we made while working in Alaska 24 years ago. We reminisced about the
past and talked about our jobs, kids, and futures. Our second destination
brought us to my brother-in-law’s place. Over this three-day visit, we enjoyed
lots of laughs and got to know his fiancé and her children. While in Nashville,
TN, we really were alone. We walked, talked, fished, ate great food, and
listened to some good music. In Gatlinburg, TN we stayed with friends who
rented a house in the mountains for their Spring Break. It was a joy to
continue this friendship in such a beautiful part of the country. Our last stop
was in Louisville, KY where we caught up with Fred’s sister and brother-in-law.
While our families may be close at heart we are geographically distant, so
every chance we get to spend together, no matter how short, is worth it.
As I reflect on this trip, I am so grateful for the family and
friends God has brought into my life. Relationships are not always easy to
develop and sustain. It takes time and when we are raising families, it seems
there is never enough time to stay connected. This connection also applies to
our marriages. As we near empty nesting, I look back and am reminded how
important it is to spend time with one another to cultivate that relationship.
As we raised the boys we didn’t always make the time to spend together. Sure, there
were lots of family vacations and forced family fun times. Fred and I had occasional
dates and special anniversary vacations when we were alone, but no regularly
scheduled date nights. I hope we are able to help our boys make date nights a priority when they have kids of their own (preferably many years from now).
This vacation reminded me of a younger us, before kids. Thank
goodness we have both grown over our almost 23 years of marriage though. There
were plenty of times during this trip that could have been points of contention
earlier in our lives. Driving (Do I even need to say the word ‘directions’?)
and in the mountains no less; mountain biking (Fred is much more adventurous
than me on the trails.); fishing (I haven’t fished since Alaska and don’t have the
patience he does.); eating (I need fruits and veggies once in a while!); activities
(I tend to have more varied interests than him.). In addition, I didn’t over plan the
vacation and Fred didn’t complain about driving. We moved a little slower, went
to bed a little earlier, were more patient with one another, and sought to make
each other happy. We just might survive life without kids if we keep this up.
Did we miss the kids? Of course, but we texted and talked to
them, and bragged about what a great time we were having. In less than 18
months, we will officially be empty nesters. We’ll continue to miss them (on vacation
or not), but want them to move on with their lives. Just like us.
