Christmas Traditions

Traditions abound around the holiday season…picking out and decorating a tree, writing letters to Santa, making Christmas cookies, caroling, driving around to see the light displays, watching holiday movies, and spending time with people you love. Over the years our traditions have changed and I’m sure some of yours have too.

Searching for our Christmas tree, 2005

When I was growing up, my grandparents on my mom’s side were divorced and remarried which established some of our family Christmas traditions. (My dad’s parents spent the winter in Florida so we didn’t usually see them at Christmas.) We would attend Christmas Eve service with my grandpa and his family, followed by dinner and presents at his house. Christmas Day was then spent with my grandmother and her husband at our house. They would come over early in the morning for gifts and stay through dinner. I loved these get-togethers and all the people involved. We continued these traditions into my adulthood until my mom passed away.

At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I tried to keep our family Christmas traditions alive by spending time in the Upper Peninsula with family, his mom and siblings in Detroit, and his dad and family in Kalamazoo. This many-mile triangle became too difficult to sustain once we had kids so we began alternating holidays…a new tradition. One year would be a Kari Thanksgiving with my family and a Sitkins Christmas with my husband’s family. The next year we switched. This tradition has continued for over 20 years, although in smaller gatherings due to life’s cycle.

We created our own traditions with Kyle and Elliott that ended once they moved out (or maybe when they were in high school, see side note)…finding and cutting down a tree, decorating it with Christmas music in the background, Christmas stockings before gifts, and eating monkey bread on Christmas morning. (Side note: Just because you have a tradition does not mean everyone enjoys it the same. I loved decorating the tree together, but I found out the males in this family did not feel the same!)

12 Days 2021

One family tradition I try to keep alive is the 12 Days of Christmas. Our version of the 12 Days is different from most. It begins on December 14 and each gift corresponds to the day…a pair of gloves could be day one (1 pair) or day two (two gloves) or day 10 (10 fingers). When the boys were young, it was much easier because they lived with us and many of the days were food items they wouldn’t normally get. These included Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes, candy, bags of chips, and pop. We also gave them things like a $5 gift card, four quarters, 11 oz. of Pringles. Days 7 and 11 were often the hardest so we sometimes created coupons for movie rentals, books, or other things/activities we could do throughout the winter. As they got older, we added items like socks, deodorant, protein bars, and gift cards for fast food. My 12 Days of Christmas skills are being challenged even more now that they live on their own.

The Sitkins’ 12 Days of Christmas began when the boys were very young. I was a stay-at-home mom and was always looking for something to keep them busy (and learn in the process). The kids and I made things for Fred (their dad) that corresponded to the day…a wreath ornament with eight green balls, five songs they sang on a cassette tape, one play they performed, a coupon for three snow shoveling jobs or 10 back rubs, etc. After a couple of years, we started the 12 Days for the boys, and at some point, abandoned Fred’s but kept the tradition for Kyle and Elliott.

As our children move further into adulthood and have significant others, we will adjust to their schedules and the holiday traditions they create. One of those adjustments will be to the 12 Day of Christmas. They don’t know it yet, but one day the 12 Days tradition will move down a generation. Whether your traditions are just beginning, spans generations, or changing, I hope you find joy in every one of them.

Time For A Lazy Saturday Morning

This lazy Saturday morning I decided to have my breakfast outside on the deck. There are a couple of things about that statement that surprise me. First of all, most Saturday mornings are not lazy. I’m either running errands, doing chores, out of town, or spending time with guests in our home. Secondly, I ALWAYS eat my breakfast at the kitchen table in the same seat at around the same time. Creature of habit I guess. 

Today was finally warm enough for me to consider eating outside in the a.m. without bugs, clouds, gusty wind, and a laundry list of things to do on my mind. Looked like a very peaceful and sunny day with a nice breeze so I took my bagel, strawberries, and tea out the slider to sit and read, listen, pray, and watch. And to see if having “coffee on the deck/patio/porch” is really as great as people write about. 

The first thing I noticed was the beauty around me. The freshly cut grass (thanks, E). The flowers blooming in the flower beds I often curse when weeding. The trees full of leaves. The sun shining through the hazy clouds. Birds flying all over my viewing space. Neighbors enjoying the morning as they take their kids out for the day or going for a motorcycle ride.

Then the sounds. So many birds! I’m not very knowledgeable about birds, but I do recognize the sound of a woodpecker behind me. Other sounds I hear are chirping, whooing, whistling, cawing, and others that I cannot find a word for. I heard a bird calling to others who I then watched fly to the tree he (or she) was in. On a side note, from my home office window this spring I have noticed many different types and colors of birds. Does this new found awareness of birds mean I’m old or that I finally took the time (or have the time) to stop, see, and listen?

I also hear a lawn mower in the distance (someone who is not having a lazy Saturday morning), a plane flying overhead, someone’s air conditioner, and neighbors leaving for work. All those sounds that go along with living in a neighborhood and our modern society. These I have always been attuned to. 

The coffee people are right. It’s been pretty relaxing to sit on the deck with my cup of tea, eating my breakfast and taking in the world around me. (And writing this blog.) I’m not the type of person who is going to do this every Saturday (those who know me well are surprised I did it today), but I will definitely take advantage of it again when I can. I hope you do too.

It’s been so enjoyable I could almost talk myself out of going for a run. But I did that last weekend (for a different reason than sitting on my deck) so I better get to it. 

Saying Goodbye to a Relationship

I recently said goodbye to a 13-year relationship, and it was more difficult than I thought it would be. In the beginning, I really didn’t want to get into the relationship. I was happy with the ones I already had. How could I manage another? But there were special people in my life who wanted to add this relationship to our lives, so I acquiesced. And I’m glad I did because she brought much joy to my life.

Zoey, our chocolate lab, quickly became my walking partner. I wonder how many miles we walked over those 13 years. We walked with friends, and we walked alone. She would remember where there had been “bad” dogs in their yards, and she’d pull on the leash to get as far away from them as she could even when they weren’t outside. On some walks we’d stop at the lake. I’d find something to throw in the water for her to retrieve. It was funny how many more times she would retrieve something in the water than she would on land. Zoey liked being off the leash but never went too far ahead without stopping to see if I was coming. I couldn’t get on the floor to stretch or sit without her thinking I was down there for her. She loved having her belly rubbed whether I was on the floor or not. Were there more of those than the miles we walked? She always knew when I was sad or upset and would come to comfort me. 

Like all relationships though, there were difficult times. We were fortunate that she didn’t chew shoes since she spent her younger years in the mud room with ALL our footwear. But she did chew a hole in the basement wall. On some of our walks, when Zoey was off the leash, she would get behind because she stopped to sniff everything. Weren’t we supposed to be exercising? Once she ate a hand warmer and Fred had to induce vomiting. When we lived on the sailboat for three months, she got so depressed she developed a hot spot on top of her head. Then there was a trailer incident where her jaw got broken as were our hearts. 

As Zoey aged, our walks became slower and shorter. She would still go in the water, but not for long. Naps became more frequent and longer. Her eyesight failed, she couldn’t hear, and doggie dementia set in. It seemed to come on slowly yet went by way too fast. I always wondered how we would know when it was time to say goodbye, but she let us know.

Zoey touched not only my life, but so many others. The family who cared for her as their own every time we went on vacation. My walking friends. The many neighbors who let her out and fed her when we would be late to get home. Her furry friends’ parents. The coworkers who stayed with her when we needed them. The vet staff and groomers who loved on her at every visit. It seemed she captured the hearts of everyone she encountered. 

While I had no desire to have a pet in my life, my love for Zoey grew to a point that saying goodbye was difficult. I still expect her to be waiting outside our bedroom door in the morning for her breakfast. I miss being greeted by her when I come in the door. And I ache to walk with her again when I see other dogs and their owners enjoying a walk together. All relationships have good and bad days, ups and downs. As I reflect on the memories I have of Zoey, I’d have to say there were many more on the plus side which made it harder to say goodbye. 

I appreciate our family and friends who have reached out to comfort us and share in our grief. From cards, gifts, and flowers to Facebook and text messages, these acts of kindness let us know we are not alone in our sorrow. Many have walked with path before, and I appreciate those relationships as well.