I empathize with Fred every time I think about the Dunkin Donuts “Time to Make the Donuts” commercial from the early 1980s. Every day Fred the Baker got up early and came home after dark to do his job, making donuts. He became more exhausted as the days went on and eventually ran into himself at the door as he was leaving/coming. I’m sure many people relate to this commercial from a work perspective, but I empathize with Fred from the mom perspective.
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| Photo credit: quotesgram.com/exhausted-mom-quotes/ |
Once upon a time I felt like Fred the Baker. Rise early to shower and get ready before waking the kids. Make breakfast and lunches. Be sure they had everything for the school day. Go to work. Pick kids up and make dinner. Drive to some sort of sports practice. Get the boys ready for bed. Grade papers or prepare lessons. On 'no practice' days, I had time to grocery shop, do laundry, clean the house, work on the budget, take care of the unending list of things a mother is responsible to do, or maybe plan a vacation. Then do it again the next day and the next day and the next day… My poor husband. During that time, he may have gotten meals and vacations, but very little one-on-one time with me.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVED spending time with the boys, and still do, but I rarely had much Mom Time. Sure, I could squeeze in a workout...if I got up earlier or ran instead of eating dinner with the family. I tried, unsuccessfully, to play cards every other week with my friends. When I decided to read a book, I’d stay up way too late, multiple nights in a row, because I couldn’t stop reading (apologies again to my husband). But that was my Mom Time...a little time to spend doing what I wanted to do.
As the boys got older, they started making their lunch, doing their laundry, and eventually driving themselves to practice. Now there are days when I see them for five minutes before I head to bed. I’m starting to miss them. In their teen-aged years, my definition of Mom Time has changed. It is no longer time for me, but time for us. And I’ll take any chance I can get to spend some time with them.
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| Birthday Bonus |
In the last couple of weeks I’ve been fortunate to have some newfound Mom Time. Our youngest invited me to see the movie Finding Dory. As a bonus, our oldest son and his girlfriend came along. Both boys unexpectedly had my birthday off from work so we spent the afternoon together as a family, and I didn’t even have to use a Forced Family Fun Day to make it happen. Our oldest spent the Fourth of July sailing with us, and I actually enjoyed driving one and a half hours to the orthodontist just so I could spend alone time with our youngest son.
My relationships with the boys have definitely changed over time and I’m sure as they enter college, get married, and start families those relationships will continue to evolve. I’m not sure that my Mom Time definition will change again, but I do know that my time with each of the boys will become less as they continue their journey through life. For now, I’m going to savor all the Mom Time I can get.
