Long-Term Friends

A very good friend of mine recently blogged about our lengthy relationship, which is approaching 40 years. (Read about it here.) Paula was the first friend I made when my family moved from "town" to the "country" (not that there was much of a difference in the U.P. at the time). As she mentions, whenever I think, see or hear of cat's cradle, I think of her. She does a great job describing our friendship through the years, along with sharing some embarrassing and wonderful pictures of us.

Friends made in his lifetime so far

My friendship with Paula gives me hope for our boys. My husband's job has taken our family to a new town, a new school and new friends. As teenage boys who have grown up in one small town, this is going to be a difficult transition. Their attitudes have been awesome and they have summer jobs, but they miss their friends from "home." I've had many conversations with them about all the new friends they will make in the new town, when they go to college and in their careers. I've also told them that some of their current friends will be friends for life...like Paula.

Friends since high school

As stated in her blog, there is a difference between friends and acquaintances. Long-term friends are there through the many stages of life. A particular situation or life event may bring the friends together, but it's the staying together that defines friendship. As in any relationship, there may be disagreements, but there is also reconciliation, joy and a comfort in knowing that they love you no matter what. It isn't proximity that keeps people friends. It's not even having a lot in common. It's the connection people feel when both parties are interested in the other's lives and make a point to let them know.

While I haven't known all my friends as long as Paula, I treasure the many I have made over the years. The close relationships I built with people in high school, college or the many moves I made in my life are enduring to me. No matter where life takes me, I still have the experiences, memories and connections with these friends. I believe God put each individual person in my life at the right time for a specific purpose. If you are one of these friends, know that you are valuable to me.

I saw the following video earlier this year and thought of Paula and I (not sure which of us is Alice). I would feel blessed if we are still laughing and spending time together when we are 100 years old!

Living on the Boat

Current Address: Slip #1

We are waiting for our house to sell and have been living two-hours away on our 34' sailboat for over a month. Now I know you're probably saying, "How great is that?" or "What fun!" as these are the statements we usually hear when people find out we're living on the boat. Yes, there are great things about boat dwelling, but there are also those that make life difficult. Our relationships are being tested and strengthened, I hope, through doing this together. I will try to summarize our experience so far.

Great things about living on the boat:

•   Cleaning takes a small fraction of the time the house does. And quite frankly, I'm learning not to stress so much about the clutter...in the short term anyway.

•   Waking up to the sun shining on a glassy bay dotted with boats or watching the wind form ripple patterns as it blows across the water.

•   There is no television and no wi-fi (although we all have data on our phones). The limited time we spend together is in close proximity. We are more attuned to each others' schedules and life problems since we are forced to do more talking.

Cabin, pre-living

•   The boys pitch in to do whatever needs to be done. From sailing to cooking and doing the dishes, to taking the dog for a walk and cleaning up after her, to odds and ends like getting the towel that blew off the boat and was on the bottom of the lake, they have been diligent in helping us, with very little complaining.

•   We live wherever the boat takes us. While we have a "home base" slip, we have also stayed in a nearby marina. This marina allowed our boys more freedom in getting to work and finding activities to do on their own. A change of scenery is refreshing.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Keep reading. The following list may change your mind.

Issues that test us while living on the boat:

Cabin, two-weeks in

•   While it doesn't take too long to clean the boat, it's mostly because our stuff takes up a lot of room. That's not saying much when four people and a dog live in a space smaller than most bedrooms. Learning where to store our clothing, bathing, cooking, cleaning, eating and entertaining items has been interesting.

•   "Put your dirty clothes in the bag instead of all over the boat."

•   "Take the long board off the boat so the dog has a place to sleep."

•   Vacuum the dog hair, sweep the dog hair, wipe up the dog hair. Same as at home but more noticeable on the light colored flooring.     

•   I’m about ready to abandon recycling. It's just "one more thing" to figure out where it fits.

•   "Let me stand in the head (bathroom, for you land lubbers) so you can get by to get your clothes to take a shower." "Don't stand in the galley (i.e., kitchen) to eat your banana and peanut butter. I need to start dinner."

•   Take the cutting board with the bananas, and whatever else is currently being stored on it, off the stove to make macaroni and cheese. Then move the cutting board, with related items, off the refrigerator to get out the milk and butter. Move cutting board from sink to fill pan with water. Get the mac ‘n cheese box out of its storage space after moving the cutting board again. Getting the picture of our space issue?

When we used to vacation

•   In the past, we've vacationed on the boat. That entails sleeping in, not doing much during the day, sailing from port to port and relaxing on the boat in the evening. Not so much when you live on it. Our "life" schedules haven't changed since living on the boat. We work every day. The boys are still busy with sports and now they have jobs. The dog still thinks it's time to get up as soon as the sun rises (and she can't get out of the boat on her own). And we have a house two hours away that we continue to maintain.

•   Speaking of maintaining...our home away from home needs just as much maintenance as the house. When we first moved on it this year, the gas to the stove wasn't working, the sink was torn apart because it was leaking and we didn't have water anyway because there hadn't been time to fill the tanks. After a couple of weeks these problems were fixed and we can make meals on the stove and run water for cooking, drinking and doing the dishes, but there is still woodwork that needs to be sanded and stained, stanchions that need rebedding and a dodger to be sewn.

•   Grocery shopping takes on a whole new meaning. I've never been one to like any type of shopping, but now that I have to do it more often in smaller quantities, due to our space issue, I'm beginning to like it even less. Add the fact that the local grocery store is expensive and driving into town through Up North summer tourist traffic is maddening and it becomes a logistical nightmare for me. Did I remember the cooler? Should I bring grocery bags or get plastic to use for garbage bags? How much can I buy to fit in the refrigerator/freezer? Where have all these people come from?!

•   No wi-fi! It's amazing how we've become accustomed to instant Internet access whenever we wanted it. I teach online and send a lot of emails and documents with my consulting job. The boys stream when using wi-fi but not their data so they use their phones less on the boat. Walking to the office or a coffee shop to hit a hot spot is inconvenient, but at least we have access to it.

•   I thought laundry at home was a chore. Now I'm either driving two hours to the house or schlepping four or more bags to the laundromat. One is more time consuming while the other is more expensive.

Even with all the inconveniences that come with living on a boat, I'm thankful we are experiencing this adventure together. At minimum, it's giving me stories to share with my grandchildren about their parents. Am I ready to move into a house? Sure, but until that time comes, I'm trying to make the best of this opportunity. A lifetime is made up of a multitude of experiences involving many relationships. I hope our boys are learning that the relationships they create with others will involve different experiences, each with their own set of joys and struggles.