We all must prioritize
relationships in our lives, and at different times in our lives, we prioritize
different relationships. As a teenager, my relationship priority was my
friends, not my family. At the time I realized I loved the man I was going to
spend the rest of my life with, my priority changed from friends to him, to the
point that I spent a summer in Alaska with him instead of being in my friends’
weddings. (Thank goodness those friends understood and are still a part of my
life.) When our kids were born, my relationship with the babes became a higher
priority than spending time with others, sometimes even my husband (…remembering
the exhaustion).
Prioritizing does not mean that ALL your time has to be on a particular
relationship. In fact, that would be quite unhealthy. I can prioritize my
husband and children and still find time to spend a weekend with friends or
regularly walk the dog, since we have a relationship too (although she’s much
better at the relationship than I am). I can even spend time with my family and
friends at the same time.
A couple of
days ago, I prioritized visiting a friend I had not seen in over 15 years, and
I’m so glad that I did! Bill returns from California every summer to visit his
parents, yet I’ve failed to get there to see him. Sure, we are connected through Facebook, but
getting a hug and talking do not even compare to my computer screen. This
summer, I traveled the five short hours to the house on the lake for a visit.
Not only were we able to reminisce about the past and catch up on the past 15
years, I was able to meet his children and fiancé, reconnect with his parents,
and visit with his siblings. What made it even more special to me is that my
family could be there too, a feat in itself with two working teenagers. I’m so
thankful that they prioritized this time to spend with me.
As an added
bonus, my long-time friend, Paula, was able to stop out to visit as well. Even
though it has not been too long since we have been together (we ran a 5K in
May), it’s always encouraging to see her. While her recent blog post (Hat of Many Colors - Friends and Motivators) mentions that I inspired her to start running again, she also
inspires me to keep going with this blog (even if Bill was the instigator this
time around).
I have moved
around quite a bit in my adulthood and have left many friends. I have had close
friends move away from me. But friendships are for a lifetime, if we only make
the effort. With lifetime friends, it’s easy to pick up right where you left
off. This is one lesson I see my children already learning. After moving away
from the only home they had known for their 13+ years, our boys have made some
wonderful new friends. They still keep in contact with their many of their old
ones as well. Technology has played a large role in this, but they also make an
effort to see those friends face-to-face whenever possible. As their lives get
more complicated with college, careers, and families of their own, I hope they
will successfully continue to prioritize and re-prioritize their relationships
in life.
So to my
boys (who I hope will be reading this in the future, but who are also “proofing”
this post for me today)…Which relationships are you prioritizing today? Is this
a season in your life where your friends are a priority? Maybe you are in a
time period of your life where you should be prioritizing your spouse or your children
(this time is shorter than you think). Maybe
you finally stumbled upon this blog in your empty-nester years and you realize
that your relationship priority needs to be your parents. Don’t worry, I’ll
forgive you for all those years when you had other priorities.
