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| Where I get if from |
There are many parts of me that look or act like my dad.
Sometimes that’s a good thing and other times I’m not so sure. When I was in my
freshman year of college we argued over who was going to buy the outfit I
wanted. I was trying to express my independence and he just wanted to show his
love for me. He doesn’t remember that stubborn-laden incident, but it’s
ingrained in my memory as the first time I realized how much alike we were in
more than physical features.
The main trait I believe I received from my mom was emotions.
I have embarrassed my kids on more than one occasion because of my emotions,
especially crying. I cry when I’m happy, sad, frustrated, nervous, and even
when someone else cries. Both of my parents are/were very relational. They always
opened their house to people, ministered to those they don’t personally know,
and truly loved spending time with others whenever and wherever. My interest in
observing, building, and maintaining relationships began with them.
One of the things on My Year of 50 list was to take a DNA
test. I received my 23andMe results this month. Not surprising that my ancestry
composition was 99.9% European with 75.2% Finnish and 5.7% Italian or that I’m
likely to have hazel eyes and light hair. Results that made me laugh were that
I would likely consume more caffeine (I don’t drink coffee and not much pop),
likely not have dimples (really?), and likely prefers salt (I’ll take ice cream
over chips any day). I guess the test can’t be 100% accurate for everyone.
What doesn’t show up on the test results are the emotional
and relational traits I feel I received from my parents. I understand these
traits could be learned or developed from the environment I grew up in, but my
three brothers do not have the same emotional and relational make-up as me. Our
two boys have very different personalities and ways in which they deal with
life and they both grew up in the same environment. So it makes me wonder how
genes influence our emotions, personality, and relationship behaviors.
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| Time to get a real family photo |
Our children have definitely inherited our physical traits
and even seem to have similar personalities as us. The youngest is much like me
in looks, personality, and actions and many of my husband’s traits are apparent
in our oldest son, but they have their own uniqueness as well. Our oldest has
larger feet than my husband and our youngest does not have dimples (we both
do). I should mention though, they both seem to be much smarter academically than
either of us. Did they inherit that recessive gene or did we just do a great
job nurturing learning? My guess is it may be both.
Nature and nurture both influence who we are. I didn’t need
a DNA test to tell me that, but it was fun to see what information came back.
As the boys move ahead into adulthood, I am eager to observe their personalities
and relationships. And while I’m in no hurry for grandchildren, I secretly
can’t wait to see how their traits and environments manifest themselves in their
children.
[Thanks to Elliott for coming up with the title for this blog. I love that kid!]
