Remember
getting a gift from a grandparent or relative who you had not seen in a while
and it was too small, too childish, or not of your interest? Did your parents
expect you to thank them, even though you were disappointed? Why do we do that
as parents? I propose it’s because we want to teach our children to be thankful
for thoughtfulness, more so than gifts. Being sincerely thankful is something
we should all strive to practice. I know there are times that I struggle with
this and have to remind myself how I feel when people show gratefulness to me. I
like it and it feels good. But I also get that same feeling when I show others appreciation.
We have been
having our boys send thank you notes to family and friends for birthday and Christmas
presents since they were too young to write. They even send a little note for Valentine’s,
Easter and Halloween cards. Since we have always lived away from family and
friends, it is important to not only thank them for their gifts and thoughtfulness, but also let them know we received them. Before the boys could write, they would
color or paint, and I would write the note. As they learned to write their
name, they would add that at the end of the note. Soon they were writing their
own notes. Today, they often use technology to send thank you notes, although the
traditional thank you note format is reserved for family members who do not have
the technology. I’ve assured the boys that once they are out of the house, they
can decide to continue to send thank you notes themselves. My hope is that a
heart of appreciation remains and they continue to show it to others.
Besides
gifts, I have tried to teach the boys to be thankful for what people do for
them. Thanking someone for having them over to play, for giving them a ride, or
for doing them a favor such as getting the milk out of the refrigerator or
putting their clothes from the washer into the dryer. Everyone likes to be appreciated. Remembering
to say thank you when someone opens the door for you or lets you cut in line
are simple ways to show your gratefulness.
The opposite
of thankful is being critical, unappreciative or thankless. Living a life of
unthanks is a miserable life. The more we practice thankfulness, the better our
attitude and outlook on life and possibly our health. So when you start to
focus on what your sibling did wrong to you, how miserable your job is or why
your car keeps breaking down, find areas where you can be appreciative. I’ve
had to create a ‘Thanks Journal’ recently because I found myself being too
critical, unappreciative and thankless, especially in these cold, snowy winter
days. Entries in this journal include seeing the sun (periodically), being safe
on the roads, and having a snow blower to clear the driveway (and when it
breaks down, I am thankful for a husband and son who can fix it). Wherever you
are in your life’s journey, I hope you remember to find ways to be sincerely
thankful.
