Balancing Your Life to Be Your Best

One of the reasons I created this blog was to leave a legacy for our boys to use as they go through life. Something that will, hopefully, encourage them when they struggle...or just for enjoyment/memory sake. I hope that this entry will be one they take to heart when they find life getting too stressful.

We are a family of overachievers, well, most of us anyway. We work hard at what we do, and dare I say, want to be the best at it. While being the best is not such a bad thing, it can have negative consequences if we lose perspective. I'd like to instill in my children to be THEIR best in all they do rather than trying to be THE best in particular areas of their lives. There are four reasons why I think trying to be THE best, whether it's in one area or many, creates stress in one's life.

Trying to be the best can be very difficult, especially if we try to be the best in all areas of our lives. Even as we try to be the best in one area of our life, other parts suffer. There are countless personal, local, and national stories to support this. Here are some examples:

Courtesy of Brian Zaikowski
http://www.dementeddenizens.com/

• People who work long, hard hours to be the best in their careers end up losing relationships with family and friends. Some of the time invested in their career could have been spent cultivating their most important relationships. The flip side of this is also true. Too much time spent developing a relationship can cause a career to suffer if the work does not get done.
• Wanting to be the best parent may cause conflict with a spouse or other family members. Too often, being the best parent leads to becoming friends with the child rather than parent. As a spouse or friend or family member points this out, it often creates stress in that relationship.
• After a failed marriage, some people put all their energy into being the best spouse in the next marriage. This often results in their relationships with children from their first marriage to suffer. On the flip side of this, second marriages sometimes suffer because one spouse focuses too much on their children from the first marriage rather than the spouse.

A second reason why I believe trying to be the best causes stress is that sustaining being the best in something can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Over time, a person can become burned out, worn down, and depressed by trying to keep up the level of energy necessary to be the best. Athletes experience this. They may be the best for a particular event or season, but to continue that stature for a long period of time, may end up turning to drugs. Individuals who overwork themselves turn to drugs and alcohol to help them sleep or relax or forget about missing out on significant events in their families' life.

Being the best is relative. There is going to be someone else, somewhere, that is  better. More and more, we live in a global society which makes this even more true. Whether it be athletics, education, career, parenting, or hobbies, there are others who are just as good, if not better, than we are. Comparing ourselves to other people can cause stress.

The last point is that there is always room to improve. No matter how good we are at something, we can always be better. This is not to discourage, but to keep the idea of 'being the best' in perspective. Rather than focusing on being better than others, we should focus on how we can improve in the different areas of our lives.

Being your best is doing the best you can without sacrificing other areas of your life. For example, coaching your kid's sports team and still being home for dinner most nights, creates balance between work and children/family. Committing to a weekly date night helps to keep your spouse in balance with other areas of your life. Keeping your finances in balance reduces the stress in your relationships and on your health. Getting together with family and friends monthly, or as often as possible, reminds you of how important those relationships are to your overall being. Eating healthy and exercising go a long way in allowing you to enjoy other areas of your life.

Doing our best is something we should all strive for, whether it be in our careers, relationships, or other areas of our lives. Not that you have to be the best in all areas of your life, but that you work equally hard in striving to balance being your best in all areas. Balance will lead to longer, richer relationships, which in turn, will lead to less stress in your life.