Being Thankful (in the Bathroom)

No one's favorite chore

“I love to clean the bathroom.” said no woman ever. If you’re like me, you do it because you ‘love a clean bathroom.’ There are definitely times I put off cleaning the bathroom for far too long and then really dread doing it. It’s usually at those times that my husband steps in and takes care of it for me. Yes, you read that right. My husband cleans the bathroom and has done so on many occasions.

This is just one of the many things that he does that I am thankful for (and it ranks high on the list). Just this week he fixed my treadmill and hung a picture in the guest room. He takes care of the lawn in the summer, the leaves in the fall, and the snow in the winter, all tasks I could do but prefer not to (especially picking up the dog poop that comes along with those jobs). Add to the list: car issues, plumbing problems, and making “stuff” for the house, all things I can’t do and would have to hire out. While I may do most of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry, he also pitches in to help.

Very thankful for this guy!

This isn’t a checklist for other wives to give their husbands, but rather reasons for me to express thanks to him. It’s also a reminder to recognize all the things we can be thankful for. Let’s face it, life gets hard. There are going to be stretches when it’s difficult to see anything done by your spouse, parent, child, friend, or co-worker that is worthy of thanks. It’s in those times that writing (or typing) a list is important. I realized this at the lowest time in my life. It wasn’t easy to come up with a thankful or appreciation list, but it helped me to focus on the good and positive things in my relationships rather than the negative.

Thankfulness is more than just making a list though. It’s acting on it as well. When we are thankful, we should be intentional about expressing that thanks. “Thank you for cleaning the bathroom. It looks great.” or “I hate picking up the dog poop. I’m sure you don’t like it either, but I’m glad you do it.” Writing, texting, or emailing a note or making a video are other ways to thank someone. If you’re not sure what to say, read the thank you cards at a store or Google ‘how to say thanks.’

Saying thank you or showing appreciation feels good. Not only for the person that is being thanked or appreciated, but also for the giver. This may sound convoluted, but when my husband cleans the bathroom, he is thanking me for all I do around the house. As he alleviates this task from me, it makes me feel good. I, in turn, thank him for cleaning the bathroom, making him feel good for the job he did. Being thankful can be a continual cycle of feeling good.

Thankfulness is a powerful tool to use in our relationships. While it’s not always easy, we can start small. Find one thing another person does for you and thank them regularly for it. The more we practice thanksgiving the easier it becomes. As we continue to thank one another with our words and actions, we will see our relationships flourish. I pray that you begin a thankfulness journey this Thanksgiving that continues throughout the year.

Saying Thanks

Remember getting a gift from a grandparent or relative who you had not seen in a while and it was too small, too childish, or not of your interest? Did your parents expect you to thank them, even though you were disappointed? Why do we do that as parents? I propose it’s because we want to teach our children to be thankful for thoughtfulness, more so than gifts. Being sincerely thankful is something we should all strive to practice. I know there are times that I struggle with this and have to remind myself how I feel when people show gratefulness to me. I like it and it feels good. But I also get that same feeling when I show others appreciation.

We have been having our boys send thank you notes to family and friends for birthday and Christmas presents since they were too young to write. They even send a little note for Valentine’s, Easter and Halloween cards. Since we have always lived away from family and friends, it is important to not only thank them for their gifts and thoughtfulness, but also let them know we received them. Before the boys could write, they would color or paint, and I would write the note. As they learned to write their name, they would add that at the end of the note. Soon they were writing their own notes. Today, they often use technology to send thank you notes, although the traditional thank you note format is reserved for family members who do not have the technology. I’ve assured the boys that once they are out of the house, they can decide to continue to send thank you notes themselves. My hope is that a heart of appreciation remains and they continue to show it to others.

Besides gifts, I have tried to teach the boys to be thankful for what people do for them. Thanking someone for having them over to play, for giving them a ride, or for doing them a favor such as getting the milk out of the refrigerator or putting their clothes from the washer into the dryer.  Everyone likes to be appreciated. Remembering to say thank you when someone opens the door for you or lets you cut in line are simple ways to show your gratefulness.

The opposite of thankful is being critical, unappreciative or thankless. Living a life of unthanks is a miserable life. The more we practice thankfulness, the better our attitude and outlook on life and possibly our health. So when you start to focus on what your sibling did wrong to you, how miserable your job is or why your car keeps breaking down, find areas where you can be appreciative. I’ve had to create a ‘Thanks Journal’ recently because I found myself being too critical, unappreciative and thankless, especially in these cold, snowy winter days. Entries in this journal include seeing the sun (periodically), being safe on the roads, and having a snow blower to clear the driveway (and when it breaks down, I am thankful for a husband and son who can fix it). Wherever you are in your life’s journey, I hope you remember to find ways to be sincerely thankful.