This past week
I stumbled upon my son’s self-consciousness about a physical feature he
inherited and it broke my heart. While it hurt to see him concerned about it,
it did give me the opportunity to talk to him about appearances. I shared how I
was self-conscious about the space between my front teeth, and that as I go
through life it still affects me at times. To deal with it, I remind myself
that God made me who I am, and it’s okay to not be perfect. (I’m sure perfect
people have issues too.) We talked about how people like him for his great
personality and the person he is, not because of his appearance, even though he
is very good-looking (not that I’m biased in this case). While he kept saying,
“I know” to everything I said, I pray that this current self-consciousness will
be short-lived and will not rear its ugly head too often in his life.
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| Grandma at 80 |
This
experience got me thinking about our relationship with our appearance or our
bodies. Whether we decide to do something about our appearance or not, if
affects our emotional and mental state. We seem to never be consistently content
about our looks. My Grandma was a beautiful woman, but she was always on one diet
or another to lose those last five pounds. I used the ‘pregnancy excuse’ to eat
as much as I wanted because it was “okay” to be “fat” during that time. I’ve
known people who were obsessed with exercise and those who avoid it like the
plague. Just for Men, hair removal, Botox, body sculpting, liposuction, plastic
surgery, steroids. Look in magazines, online, billboards and commercials and
you’ll see beautiful people with products and tips on how to get rid of or fix the
parts of our appearance we do not like.
Have you seen the video of the model that is digitally enhanced to
create the “perfect” person? Google ‘Photoshop perfect model video’ or watch
this news link http://gma.yahoo.com/video/time-lapse-video-shows-models-122222286.html
on body image. The organization Global Democracy was the first to post the
video in hopes of getting a “mandatory disclaimer” on advertising if a model
had her physical body manipulated by the computer. Many people may look
negatively on marketers for doing this, but marketers sell what we want. Why is
it that even though we know we don’t have perfect bodies, we think we should?
While
marketing may influence what we believe about ourselves, we are our own worst
critics. I know all the parts of my body that need “fixing,” and I know that
some can be improved while others are hereditary and I need to stop letting
them bother me. Herein lies the emotional and mental relationship I have with my
body. I daily remind myself to care about being healthy and not compare myself
to an ideal that is unrealistic. In keeping my body healthy, the things I eat
and the things I do positively or negatively affect my body and in turn affect
my emotional and mental state.
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| http://herrainbowbrightness.deviantart.com/ art/Sigarillas-Salad-118206314 |
We can have
a loving or combative relationship with our bodies by the food we put into it. When
I consume pasta and bread, ice cream and cookies, pop or alcohol on a regular
basis, I gain weight. I like these foods, probably too much, and have learned to
eat/drink them in moderation. I went through one summer eating big salads every
day. (Remember Seinfeld’s Big Salad episode?) Great for my weight, but by the
end of the summer, I couldn’t look a salad in the eye (if it had one). Once
again, I had to learn moderation. Even though it’s easier to grab fast food or
processed food, I know too much of it makes me feel awful, both physically and
mentally.
Not eating
affects our bodies as much as eating out of control. Anorexics and bulimics do
not have healthy relationships with their bodies, nor do people who binge
eat/drink. Many of these individuals also suffer from depression. While teens
and early 20-somethings struggle most with eating disorders*, many take those
tendencies into adulthood in the form of extreme dieting or skipping meals. My
boys, while in this age group, do not seem to have these tendencies, but I want
to watch for any changes in their eating behavior as they are on the early end
of this age spectrum. I also want them to know about eating disorders in case
they have girls or boys of their own that struggle with it.
In addition
to eating right, exercise is a positive way to have a healthy relationship with
our bodies. (I’m sure you’ve heard that before.) Sometimes I just don’t like to
exercise. Breathing hard and sweating are agonizing for me on those days. But
it is on those days that I consciously remind myself that my blood is pumping
through my arteries and veins, keeping the pathways open and clear to keep me
healthy. I may not enjoy the rest of the exercise, but at least I’ve convinced
myself that it is for my benefit to complete it. Setting an example and
teaching our children to exercise is important as they build their relationship
with their bodies. The struggle comes in teaching exercise for health benefits
rather than getting the six-pack, guns or ultra-slim figure as portrayed in the
media.
The relationship
we have with our bodies is an important part of our life. Without it, we die,
literally. To live an emotionally and mentally stable life includes not being
concerned about the plethora of messages out there touting what our bodies
should look like and being more concerned about keeping it healthy. It’s not
always an easy task, but what relationship that’s worth keeping is easy?
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