I am a self-proclaimed relationship nerd. I don’t have a degree in relationships, but I believe they are the foundation for everything in our lives. In 2013 I even started a blog and have written about my relationship with myself, God, family and friends, food, technology, and much more.
Yesterday I encouraged you to think about the relationships in your life. Raise your hand if a school-related relationship popped into your head. As I reflected on my younger years, I realized how important my school-related relationships were.
My parents were young when I was born, 17 and 20. Throughout my childhood in the UP, my mom stayed at home to raise us and my dad worked long hours to provide for our family. I felt very loved and cared for, but education beyond high school wasn’t discussed nor did we talk about careers.
I remember some of my elementary and middle school teachers as being kind, encouraging, and providing challenging work. Over those years, the teachers showed me that I “was smart” (i.e., I did well on tests and assignments and could follow the rules) and they gave me the courage to try new things. That courage was an important foundation for high school. In those early years, I also made a couple of good friends that I still see today.
We had a pool at our high school. Karen Pedley, the pool PE teacher, encouraged me to join the swim team when I was a freshman. At first, I was afraid, but with my previous successes at trying new things, and Mrs. Pedley’s encouragement, I joined. During those four years, I learned to set goals, developed a desire for physical fitness, and gained leadership skills. I formed new relationships with Coach Pedley and my teammates.
Freshman Swimming Photo 😄
In my junior year, I took accounting. Mr. Hayes, one of the business teachers, saw my potential and asked if I’d like to join BOEC (he was an advisor for the club). Again, my first instinct was to say no even though I liked business courses and had found success in other things. During my two years in BOEC, I gained confidence, a strong work ethic, and even success with two national first-place awards.
I was lucky to have close relationships with other teachers too. But, even with my strong teacher/coach relationships, a close friend base, and the successes I found in high school, I still did not know what I wanted to do after graduation. I planned to join the Navy (my dad is a veteran) until a friend convinced me to try college…for one year.
My college years were not traditional. I started working full-time in an office at Northern Michigan University after the first semester of my sophomore year. When I reflect on the decision to work full-time to pay for college, I’m glad I didn’t listen to my advisor who told me that if I worked full-time, I wouldn’t finish my degree. His comment actually made me determined to prove him wrong. Over the next four years, I was able to apply the business content I was learning to my work. I’m sure this experience helped shape my view of what education should be. The relationships I also developed with my bosses were invaluable and applied to my business degree and relationships in general.
I’m thankful for every person during my “schooling years” who took the time to know me, encourage me, challenge me, and celebrate with me. I share this with you as a reminder that the relationships you build matter. Without the support of the educators in my early life, I know my career path would look much different today. Your students may not talk about you or thank you in the future, but they will remember your relationship.
While this story was designed for educator/student relationships, relationships matter in all areas of our lives. As human beings, we are relational and need others to survive and thrive. A February 2024 Psychology Today article lists 13 different types of relationships we may have in our lives. They include romantic, sexual, family, friends, online, acquaintances, work colleagues, location-based, teacher/student, therapist/client, health care professional/patient, community/faith-based/cultural group, and pets. Take some time to reflect on your relationships and how they matter to you.
