Practicing Empty Nesting

Tonight our teenage boys return from hockey camp. They are driving the three and a half hours back, alone/together (i.e., without us). Yes, we let our newly licensed 16 year old drive them TO camp as well. While I teetered between being a protective parent wanting to take them to camp and a tough love parent wanting them to learn life lessons on their own, I settled on the latter....that was until last night, their last night at camp.

Sure, they drove to Kalamazoo on Sunday and made it to Grandpa's just fine. They got gas, using our oldest son's debit card at the gas station. When we talked to them on Monday, they were out to dinner with other guys from the camp at Buffalo Wild Wings. Every night we talked to them we heard camp was fun, Grandma was feeding them, they were watching tv (a luxury boat living has denied them for the last two months) and they weren't ready to come home...until last night.

Home safe and sound

While my husband and I have been enjoying our brief stint of empty nesters, last night brought reality to what we will encounter in the not too distant future. Our youngest complained about blistered feet, getting hit by a puck in the throat (shot by his brother, of course) and dropping his phone and breaking the screen, for the second time in four months. Our oldest said his windshield wipers weren't working, and later texted that someone in the locker room stole all his money out of his wallet. These situation caused me to want to fix everything for them, yet tell them why these things happened to them. Nurturing mom or tough love mom...?

I believe I can be both. When they get home tonight I plan on giving them big hugs and kisses. (I really do miss them, and this will be practice for when they come home from college). I'm not planning on paying for any cell phone screens or reimbursing any lost monies. But, I have found someone to repair the screen and will be very empathetic with regards to the money taken. I hope that my example of encouragement not condemnation and peace not anger will help them get through this costly disappointing time.

We all have situations that are hard to swallow, and having someone to love and care about us as we go through them is what we need. My mom used to tell me that parenting never ends, it just changes. This week I have had a brief look into just what she meant by that statement. As my relationship changes with the boys as they get older, I'm never going to stop loving, caring for and teaching them. It's just that the situations will become more difficult and the parenting more heart-breaking, knowing that they need to figure it out themselves.