Wednesday, July 29, 2015

How Do You Prioritize Friendship?

We all must prioritize relationships in our lives, and at different times in our lives, we prioritize different relationships. As a teenager, my relationship priority was my friends, not my family. At the time I realized I loved the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, my priority changed from friends to him, to the point that I spent a summer in Alaska with him instead of being in my friends’ weddings. (Thank goodness those friends understood and are still a part of my life.) When our kids were born, my relationship with the babes became a higher priority than spending time with others, sometimes even my husband (…remembering the exhaustion).

Prioritizing does not mean that ALL your time has to be on a particular relationship. In fact, that would be quite unhealthy. I can prioritize my husband and children and still find time to spend a weekend with friends or regularly walk the dog, since we have a relationship too (although she’s much better at the relationship than I am). I can even spend time with my family and friends at the same time.

A couple of days ago, I prioritized visiting a friend I had not seen in over 15 years, and I’m so glad that I did! Bill returns from California every summer to visit his parents, yet I’ve failed to get there to see him.  Sure, we are connected through Facebook, but getting a hug and talking do not even compare to my computer screen. This summer, I traveled the five short hours to the house on the lake for a visit. Not only were we able to reminisce about the past and catch up on the past 15 years, I was able to meet his children and fiancĂ©, reconnect with his parents, and visit with his siblings. What made it even more special to me is that my family could be there too, a feat in itself with two working teenagers. I’m so thankful that they prioritized this time to spend with me.

As an added bonus, my long-time friend, Paula, was able to stop out to visit as well. Even though it has not been too long since we have been together (we ran a 5K in May), it’s always encouraging to see her. While her recent blog post (Hat of Many Colors - Friends and Motivators) mentions that I inspired her to start running again, she also inspires me to keep going with this blog (even if Bill was the instigator this time around).

I have moved around quite a bit in my adulthood and have left many friends. I have had close friends move away from me. But friendships are for a lifetime, if we only make the effort. With lifetime friends, it’s easy to pick up right where you left off. This is one lesson I see my children already learning. After moving away from the only home they had known for their 13+ years, our boys have made some wonderful new friends. They still keep in contact with their many of their old ones as well. Technology has played a large role in this, but they also make an effort to see those friends face-to-face whenever possible. As their lives get more complicated with college, careers, and families of their own, I hope they will successfully continue to prioritize and re-prioritize their relationships in life.


So to my boys (who I hope will be reading this in the future, but who are also “proofing” this post for me today)…Which relationships are you prioritizing today? Is this a season in your life where your friends are a priority? Maybe you are in a time period of your life where you should be prioritizing your spouse or your children (this time is shorter than you think).  Maybe you finally stumbled upon this blog in your empty-nester years and you realize that your relationship priority needs to be your parents. Don’t worry, I’ll forgive you for all those years when you had other priorities.

No comments:

Post a Comment