Let Them Participate in Extra-Curriculars

 As I watched our son interact with his sailing friends at dinner last night, his sports “career” flashed through my mind.  All the hockey, football, baseball, cross country, sailing, and soccer practices and events we have been to over the years. So many early mornings. So many miles in the car. So much money spent on sports fees, equipment, shoes, camps, food, lodging, etc. Observing him at the table, his body language, facial expressions, and actions, I realized how important his involvement in sports was to him and to me.

Maybe I’m just getting nostalgic as it’s his senior year or maybe it’s the trip we’re currently on. I’m not sure why those images are flashing through my mind, but I sure am enjoying them. On this current trip, I feel I have reconnected with him, having real, normal conversations in the car like we used to. (As compared to the few conversations we have at home that revolve around schedules, homework, cleaning his room, and scholarship applications.) The difference now is that he’s doing some of the driving.

In our workout room, there are framed pictures of the boys in all their sports over the years. Every time I am in that room (wishing I spent more time in there), I look at those pictures and reminisce about the team they were on or a particular play they made or something about that time in their lives. Watching them grow and mature in their skills, and in life, through these sports has been an important part of my own growth. I believe these experiences help me practice patience, enhance my time management and budgeting skills, and become a better parent.

As I reflected on these memories, I remembered this blog post from our younger son when he was in seventh grade. I thought it quite insightful for a 12-year old, and one that made me realize how important sports were to him.

Why sports matter

Almost everyone has at least one activity that they love. For some women it may be shopping, for men it could be fixing cars, but for many athletes there is one sport that we just cannot live without. I was reminded of that the other day when I went back to hockey practice after taking a year off. You see us athletes, we do love the sports that we play. But, it’s more than the sport, it’s what the sport gives back.

Playing sports gives you a sense of accomplishment. Athletes love when the coach tells them “good job,” or when they make a big play to help the team out. If you ask me, I have yet to find a better feeling in life than making an open field tackle to stop the other team from getting a touchdown, or stopping someone on a breakaway to keep my team in the game. For many athletes, they look forward to the next goal they score, or the next big hit they layout as much as some people might look forward to their next paycheck. Achievements in sports are just somehow more fulfilling than many other accomplishments. Maybe it’s because it not only helps you, but also your team, or maybe it’s because YOU did it instead of anyone else from the entire other team or even the rest of your team.

I think possibly even more importantly than what you accomplish, is the friends that you make. When hanging out with people day in and day out at practices and games, you make special bonds. You help each other through much physical and emotional pain, especially when you travel with your team as much as much as you do in hockey. In hockey, you become more than just teammates, you become friends. When you play with them your whole life, you become more than friends even… you become family. You feel comfortable around them. You often can trust your teammates more than anyone else. I think it’s because you have to trust them in games, and you learn to trust in them in real life.

This is why I think sports are very important for kids to be involved in. It is a chance for kids to set their differences aside and work together and bond together. It will help them make new friends, and teach them many important life lessons.

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For my boys, when you get irritated that your kids’ sports schedules infringe on your free time or frustrated that there’s not enough money left for you to buy what you want, remember the experiences you had as a youth, the friends you made, and the lessons you learned. Even though dad and I have complained plenty about the time commitment and cost of sports, I hope this post lets you know that it was a worthwhile investment. Be part of your children’s lives by being involved in their extra-curriculars, whatever they may be.