It Feels Good to Cry

Today, I cried. I’m not embarrassed though because crying is good for you (just Google benefits of crying). It wasn’t an angry cry or a hopeless cry or a frustrated cry or a sobbing cry or even a grieving cry, although I’ve had many of those over the years. If I had to categorize it, it was a sad cry.

This boy turned 19 today.

Our oldest turned 19 today. Every year, I write each of the boys a letter for their birthday. This isn’t a letter that they open on their birthday, but rather one that I tuck away for the future. The letter is a summary of their past year…milestones, friends, sports, vacations, behaviors, etc. I print it, put it in an envelope, and stick it in their “saving box,” the place where we store keepsakes for them like report cards, writings, art work, and awards. The boys know about the boxes and understand they will receive them when they are “old enough,” which I’m anticipating is when they buy a house and we deliver the boxes with the rest of their childhood “memorabilia.” I don’t scrapbook so these letters are my way of keeping an account of their lives.

It was while I was writing his letter this morning that I cried. As I thought of his first year of college and all that transpired, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of sadness and pride. Sad that he is no longer around all the time yet proud that he is growing into a responsible young adult. He has handled adversity well and has learned some great life lessons this year.

I’m quite the emotional person and have been known to cry easily (to the embarrassment of our kids). I sobbed watching the movie “Up.” (More than once.) Stories of individuals doing something special for others, like caring for the homeless or the TV show Extreme Home Makeover, make me teary. When I see other people cry, I cry. While water ekes out of my eyes in each of these situations, none refresh my soul like a good alone cry. It’s during those times that I reflect, talk to God, and let the tears freely flow. After all, every one of those tears is washing away stress hormones from my body. What’s not good about that?

I know men tend not to cry as often as women, but I hope as our boys become men, they will experience the release that occurs when they allow themselves to cry. Whether they cry alone, with a significant other, or in a room full of people, I hope they find comfort through the tears, just like their mom does.