Peace at Home

About this time every summer life gets overly busy. I over-fill our evenings and weekends with very little time to relax at home. Maybe subconsciously I think summer is almost over and try to cram in as much as possible. Honestly though, I think it’s just me. I like being busy. Whether it is exercising, hanging out with family and friends, or just going somewhere, count me in! (With all this fun, where do I find time to do house chores?)  😉

I used to blame the busyness on the kids and their schedules. But the boys have cars so I can’t blame it on driving them around. They also have summer jobs where they work just as much as me. Their free time is spent with friends (and they don’t usually invite me). And to top it off, this summer our oldest stayed at college. There’s no one to blame for the schedule but myself. “What’s so bad about being busy anyway?” says our 18-year old who does the same thing as me.

I love weeks like this.

The problem with not controlling my schedule is I can get cranky, ignore my family, and become short-tempered. I don’t eat as well, exercise as hard, or think as clearly as when I “schedule” rest. Another problem is it leads to a frustrated husband because I over-scheduled myself, or us, again. When my/our schedule is overbooked, there is a shortage of peace in our home.

In June, I read a daily devotion titled “Love Lives Here.” It was about being intentional about creating peace in your own home. The author shared three ways (bolded below) to create that peace.

• Speak words that build peace. My mouth is probably the biggest culprit when it comes to a peace-less home environment. Yes, I tell my family that I love them or am proud of them or even that I forgive them. And I mean it when I say it. Yet I have to continually work to keep from nagging them, snapping at them, or saying hurtful things to them especially when I overschedule our lives.
• Create a home that promotes peace. If this was the only item the author suggested, we should have plenty of peace in our home. We eat healthy meals together and often invite others to join us. I control the clutter (at least when I “let go” of the boys’ bedrooms) and I stick to our budget. Helping each other with projects and tasks, taking family vacations, and communicating shows that we care about one another. We’ve even developed systems that keep chaos at bay like the last one to empty the Kool-Aid pitcher makes more. When the boys were little I instituted a system for breakfast or dinner so planning would be easier (e.g., Personal Pizza Sunday, Toast or Taco Tuesday, Waffle Wednesday, Find-your-own-food Friday, etc.). Tending a garden was also suggested to promote peace, but I find little peace in my flower beds.
• Be a woman who promotes peace. To promote peace in our home, my response to those I love needs to be peaceful, especially in times when I feel taken for granted, left out, or hurt in some way. My initial knee-jerk reaction is to use my words to tell them how I feel (see first bullet). When I take the time to clench my mouth shut and think through the issue, my actual response is much more loving and peaceful.

The peace-meter in our home may have reached the yellow zone last week. I saw the warning signs and realized I need to make intentional decisions to say no to additional commitments or at minimum, check my words and actions. I like a peaceful home (Who wouldn’t?!) and when I feel peace here, it’s easier to bring that peace to those outside my home.

Note to our family and friends: I don’t want this message to be misconstrued. We love to get together with you. The scheduling issue is more of an attitude check for me. Keep asking us to do things with you!