It may have
been on my work reading list for a year, but I finally finished Who You Know by Julia Freeland Fisher. While the book’s focus is on the social
capital of students and how schools can help them develop their networks, I could
relate many of the concepts to my own life. In addition to the book, volunteering
at the local homeless shelter has opened my eyes to the fact that there are
people who haven’t been as fortunate in developing their networks and
relationships. I feel blessed to know the people I do.
Below are a
few concepts from the book that resonated with me.
 |
| My strong ties |
- Strong and Weak Ties: There are people who I am close to and share much of my life with…my husband, children, dad, close family and friends. These strong ties are the people who I confide in, who support me when I need it, and just plain put up with me on a regular basis. I also have a network of weak ties…extended family, friends from high school and college, past colleagues and students, and those who have impacted a portion of my life. These ties are not weak in a sense that they are less important, but the role they play in my life is different than the strong ties. (See Value of Networks below.)
- Inherited Networks: I was born into a specific social infrastructure. For much of my youth, who I knew was determined by my parents. My parents valued family so I knew my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even extended family. We also had a network of church friends. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that not everyone was as fortunate to have these types of inherited networks. As an adult, I added to my network from my college experiences, work experiences, and life interests.
- Value of Networks: The books shares how our networks help provide information, influence, social credibility, and identity for us. If it was not for the weak tie of a past boss who provided information (i.e., shared the opportunity) and influence (i.e., gave a recommendation), who also had social credibility with this person, I would not be doing the work I am doing today. I’ve received consulting work from the recommendation of some of my weak ties. While my strong ties are important for my personal life, it is often my weak ties that have helped me in my career.
- Technology: I resisted Facebook until 2009 when my brother refused to email me pictures of my nephew because that’s where he shared them. My LinkedIn account became active when I decided to look for a new job seven years ago. I know many people who have met their mate on a dating site. Texting, conference calls, and webinars are part of my daily routine. Technology has allowed me to connect and stay connected much easier than in the past. It has also made my work much more efficient. While I love these tools, I still have a strong desire to spend time with people conversing face-to-face.
Since
finishing the book, I’ve reflected on my networks over the years. If not for an
insistent business teacher in high school, I would not have started on a path
that has led to so many opportunities for me in ways that I did not expect. Had
I not worked my way through college, I would not have had the chance to learn
so much from the individuals who took me under their wings. While I could make
the argument that who I knew did not introduce me to my husband, in a round-about
way it did…(If I didn’t have a college professor who found a summer internship
for me where I met a good friend who convinced me to look for a local job, I
wouldn’t have met my husband at said job.) 🙂
My favorite
research from the book was a study done over more than half a century. People
from Harvard grads to inner city individuals were interviewed. The study found
that people who were most satisfied with their relationships at 50 years old
were the healthiest at 80 years old. This may be interesting to me because I am
50 years old and love my relationships…all of them…strong and weak, short- and
long-term. Each has helped define who I am, and I’ve learned so much from them.
It may also be interesting to me because I hope to live to be at least 80. 😉
As our boys
begin their adulthood, I hope that they work on strengthening their strong ties
and continue to build their weak ones. Their networks, beyond what they
inherited from us, are further along than either my husband or I were at their ages. Being
involved in Young Life and the fraternity has introduced them to many people
that can help them in their careers and in life. I’m proud of them for seeking
out these networks and hope they know that their strongest tie (i.e., mom/me)
will always be here when they need it.
